Entry #3 – “On Respect and Social Standing”
Respect is the only universal currency in prison, because it is the only thing that all inmates have equal access to. While some inmates will always be materially “richer” than others, be it due to friends or family on the outside keeping money on their books, in-prison connections, or their own enterprise, all inmates can treat their peers with respect, and expect to be treated respectfully in turn. Respectful interactions are characterized by calmness, peacefulness, and treating others as peers who are generally within the same social strata as oneself. Waiting in line for the showers or for your tray at dinner, greeting others with pleasant calmness, and refusing to talk about a man behind his back are all respectful actions. Cutting in line, being aggressive without cause, or talking about a man behind his back, especially if the talk is negative, are disrespectful actions.
There is, however, a line between respect and obsequiousness. Treating others with respect is expected, but allowing that respect to cross the line into fawning or obsequiousness can be seen as weakness. Greeting a man when you see him in the morning is respectful. A longer conversation about pleasantries, such as asking how he is or talking about last night’s TV, may be acceptable or expected depending upon your relationship, or if that man initiates such a conversation. Seeking out a man to greet him may be acceptable if the man is a friend or if you two speak most mornings, but seeking out a man you don’t know or only know casually is more likely to be seen as a sign of obsequiousness, and thus viewed with suspicion.
In general, a man who treats others with respect without crossing over into obsequiousness and otherwise avoids social awkwardness can expect to be treated with respect in turn. That said, inmates will “test” other inmates, especially newcomers, to determine a person’s willingness to stand up for or defend themselves. These tests may take many forms, from approaching a person aggressively to disrespecting them in public to trying to steal from them. These tests are not necessarily personal in nature, they are more to determine a person’s toughness and approach to such situations. A person who stands up for themselves will gain respect and a certain social standing, while someone who fails to do so may come to be viewed as weak, or as a pushover. A friend of mine called the overall impression of an individual within the community as one’s “prison credit score.” These credit scores are public knowledge, and a low credit score can result in you being confronted or tested more often, while a high credit score can make these tests rare or nonexistent. A person with a good credit score is more likely to be treated with respect, while a person with a low credit score is more likely to be treated disrespectfully. I personally maintained a decent credit score by treating others respectfully but never obsequiously, engaging smartly with the prison economy, contributing to the community as a tutor and occasional letter writer, and by being firm and assertive, though not overly aggressive, when others treated me disrespectfully. My credit score was limited by the fact that I appeared out of place in prison, had never been in a physical altercation, and my status as a sex offender.
Respect is valued to the point that disrespectful actions can, over time and in certain circumstances, result in physical violence. Disrespect over a long period of time, or a single particularly egregious instance of disrespect, can put a man in the position of having to defend himself and to show that he will not accept such disrespect, or risk losing social standing. This will most often result in a fist fight between the two men, sometimes planned, more often spontaneous. These fights are viewed as something of a necessary release valve; two men who are having such difficulties need to “work it out” between themselves. The injuries incurred in these fights are, in my experience, rarely serious. Black eyes, bloody noses, split lips, skinned knuckles, and bruises, but not much more. More serious injuries, including more severe beatings and stabbings, are generally reserved for more extreme circumstances, including gang violence. This is, of course, only a trend. People have absolutely been badly beaten or stabbed over disrespect, real or perceived.
These fights often do “solve” the problem in the form of a changed relationship between the two men. The disrespectful party may be chastised by a mild to moderate beating, and may then change their behavior towards the other person. The two men, over the course of “working it out,” may gain respect for each other, each having gained evidence that the other will defend themselves and their property. This may not result in a friendship, or even in the men in question particularly liking each other, but the problematic behavior may cease, and the relationship will become peaceful. These alterations also have the effect of restoring equilibrium to the community at large. Ongoing perceptions of disrespect do not stay private, other inmates notice the tension as it spreads throughout the community. A resolution to the conflict is welcome, and a fight is a perfectly reasonable and understandable way of reaching that resolution.
These fights may result in disciplinary action being taken against one or both of the participants. This can take the form of a note on a person’s record, charges being levied against a person, and being sent to less desirable housing, including segregated housing or solitary confinement, if available (solitary confinement is not always available due to prison overcrowding). This is more likely if a fight takes place in an especially public way, as the system cannot let such displays go unpunished. As such, fights often happen in a covert way, out of the public view, which can prevent disciplinary action being taken.
Since my incarceration, I have found this preoccupation with respect and disrespect, which I found at times to be almost obsessive, to be very interesting. One question I find important is that of nature versus nurture. Does prison make a person preoccupied with respect and more likely to respond forcefully to perceived disrespect, or are people who are for whatever reason more inclined to behave in such a way regarding respect more likely to end up in prison? I suspect the answer is a bit of both. There may, to an extent, be a “type” of person more likely to end up incarcerated or, as is perhaps more likely, the economic, societal, and environmental forces that put a person in a position that they are more likely to go to prison may also help to engender a culture that is preoccupied with respect.
But I believe that incarceration itself also plays a factor. I come from a background that does not traditionally lend itself to incarceration, and would be perceived by most people as not being the “type” to end up in prison, but I found myself preoccupied with respect as much as the next man. This effect, I think, comes back to the idea of respect as prison’s only universal currency. When perceived respect and personal honor are among the only things a person has, they will fight to defend those things. This is another way in which prisons debase their inhabitants. Any dignified person would, I think (or maybe just hope), be able to take a “live and let live” approach to perceived disrespect, or to solve the problem with words, and any dignified society would be disgusted to find itself in a situation where physical altercations are seen as completely reasonable ways for two people to work through their disagreements. But prison limits a person’s ability to develop and maintain dignity, and prison society is not dignified. The focus is too much on survival for dignity to be a goal, either personally or societally. A person can survive in prison, but it is very, very hard to thrive. And if a person has come to thrive in prison, what does that say about that person?
Finally, I wonder what effect this largely induced preoccupation with respect has on rearrest and reincarceration rates. How many formerly incarcerated people have, maybe after a few beers, allowed their prison survival instincts to take over and started a fight, beaten somebody, or worse? “I couldn’t let him disrespect me,” they might say, and in prison this is an entirely acceptable justification for a fight. Life on the inside demands a forceful response to perceived disrespect, but life on the outside makes no such demands. On the outside, you’re free to ignore a person who disrespects you, to walk away. But in the heat of the moment, when old survival instincts come back to the fore, how many previously incarcerated individuals have forgotten that fact?
This is, I believe, another covert failure of our carceral system. Prison does not show a person the error of their ways, or help to shape them into a more complete version of themselves, or prepare them for reentry into society in any way. It changes you, but not for the better, and the lessons it teaches you are often actively harmful if applied to life on the outside. Time spent in prison does not teach you to be a better person, it just makes you more likely to continue to be a criminal.